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Out of the dark...Into the Light

Aug. 14th, 2005 10:50 pm Brandon

So I had a great time with Brandon yesterday and then this morning. I drove down to Peoria yesterday morning and then got a hotel room. I mean I could have gone to his parents house but i didnt want to meet his parents yet. You know what I mean. Well we talked and made out. But no sex. I am being a really good girl. I don't know what is wrong with me. Actually I do know its called getting your period 2 weeks early. Man it sucks. We watched movbies and talked and stuff. Then he went to work and I stayed in the hotel room. He got back from work at 330 in the morning. I waited up so i could see him. Then of course we made out some more. But the best part of the trip is when he gave me something. Yeah i know he gave me something. I was like no way. He was like I was going to go to the mall and get u something but I was not sure what u liked sooo i got this for u instead. And he pulls out this tshirt. He told me that it was his favorite tshirt that he owned and he wanted me to have it. I was like cool. It was one of his football tshirts from high school. It is kinda cool i mean I never liked a football player before. So now I have his tshirt and i am wearing it right now. It smells like him. I think it is soo cool. I mean he is a huge guy but its all good. I just hope my friends like him when they meet him.

Current Mood: cheerfulcheerful

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Aug. 12th, 2005 05:57 pm SO.....

OK, So school starts really really really soon. I am looking forward to it. I also like a guy. Yeah and this guy likes me. He lives in Peoria, IL and he is 23 will be 24 in Nov. He is a nice guy very sweet has a job . He was a football player in highschool. Ummm well if you have seen varsity blues. He is the fat one. Its all good. I mean I am not super skinny. He is a very large boy but he has such a cute face and great personality. I just dont know i mean he could be like soo hot if he lost weight, but I dont care. So i met him on Tuesday and then came home. He has called me like 6 times every day since then. He wants me to come back down tomorrow and stay the night. I told him I would love to. I mean we wont do anythning because my damn period came 2 weeks early, but i like him. I dont know what will happen but it is nice to have a guy talk to me and stuff and think i am hot. Well I will have to tell u how it all goes.

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Aug. 8th, 2005 03:09 pm Umm Yeah

So Saturday I went on a date. It was a fun date. I mean he was a good guy and I made out with him. However, I do not care if he calls. If he calls cool if he doesn't its all good. Tonight I am going on another date. His name is Jeff and I have known him for a long time. I worked with him in high school at Beef A Roo. Me and him are kinda weird because I have kissed him but we have never gone on a date or anything. Well he asked me out and I said ok. So tonight I am going to go see Wedding Crashers with Jeff. Kelli has seen Jeff and I asked her what she thought of him and she said he was hot. When I look at Jeff I think man its Jeff. I havent seen him in like 2 years. He is a really nice guy so I hope maybe I can feel something for him. I mean he tells me he has fantasized about me and then last night he was writing some poetry cheesy stuff to me. Like Aneela said who knows if he really wrote it. I am not sure if he did but it was smooth i have to give him that. For a hopeless romantic who likes having guys read poetry to her, this could be fun. Well at least this one knows what I look like. I am the exact same since the last time he has seen me. Well wish me luck. So man how many guys can I go out with in 2 months. So far it has been 6. Anyways talk to u all later to tell u what happened.

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Aug. 7th, 2005 06:17 pm

You May Be a Bit Histrionic ...

Dramatic and over the top, you crave attention.

And you'll do anything it takes to get noticed.

You love to be seductive, even when it's inappropriate.

If you're ignored, you're easily hurt ... and act out even more!

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Aug. 6th, 2005 01:11 pm

table width=350 align=center border=0 cellspacing=0 cellpadding=2><tr><td bgcolor="#FEA7B6" align="center">Your Kissing Purity Score: 23% Pure</td></tr><tr><td bgcolor="#FFCED6">

For you, it's all kiss and no talk.

You're in a permanent lip lock.

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Aug. 4th, 2005 05:04 pm Sick of working for my dad

I am so tired of the school I work at. I mean i love the kids and most of the staff. I just hate haivng my dad be the superattendant and acting principal of my school. I mean I do so much damn stuff for the school and I get no credit for it. I am soccer coach, student council advisor, and after care worker. But when others do extra work my dad will give them some kinda of recognition or something., Do I. Of course not. I get yelled because I told him I would not go to an open house tonight. I am sorry if I was in Canada like I was suppose to I would not have gone. I am sick of him being a prick. Like tonight when I said I would not go he was like well if we dont get enrollment then you wont have a job. And I said well I dont really care about this job anymore. Cuz I do nt. I mean I have almost completed my my masters and will I ever be able to get on the leadership team. Of course not because he doesnt want to play favorites. SO instead he picks some prick who I work with who is a huge suck up and back stabber. Who doesnt know a skunk from a deer. I am so pissed off. He makes me feel guilty because i dont want to go. Since I have been working at GLoria dei I have only missed 2 of the open houses. My teasm mates together have only been to 3 open houses total. So why does he expect me to say yes and drop everythng and they dont have to. OO yeah I know why it is because I have no life. That is what he told me. He said it would be good for me to get away from the computer and see people. FUck people. People are back stabbers and jerks and I like my computer. Here I can talk to who I want or not talk to them. I don't have to worry about if my hair is done. Plus I like my pjs. I have alot of stuff on my mind and the school is not one of them. I mean I am thinking about finding a job some where else and moving away. I dont even care where I live but far away from my parents. I am sick of how much they are in my life. I hate it. I hide in the basement so I dont have to see them. I like that. God I am soo pissed off he can get made at me i do not care. because I have gone to so many of those damn things one will not kill me. FUck him , Fuck all men.

Current Mood: enragedenraged

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Aug. 4th, 2005 02:52 pm Confused

So I am back from Canada. I got home on Sunday. I left early because i could not live without technology. It was really pretty up there and I had fun fishing. I caught some big fish, but I was just not happy. It also didn't help that Jeremy was calling me up there all the time. I do not know what to do. I mean I hate Jeremy, but I am drawn to talking to him. He wants me back so badly I like that feeling knowing that I am in control that he screwed up and he knows it. I wish that I could take him back and love him but I can't. I know I can't. I mean it is not worth losing my family and friends over him. I feel really bad becaue I have these feelings for him. I mean he asked me to come see him again and I told him I couldn't deep down I wanted to. Its not that I totally want to be with him I just want him to cheat on Misty. I mean that is the only reason why I would do anything and that is a bad thing to do. But I feel like she deserves it because she knew about me and it was her idea for him to sleep with her. I am not saying Jeremy was innocent because he isnt.

I met another guy from match. His name is Mike and he is 32. We have been talking for a while, but I am scared to meet him because like the other guys he probably wont like me cuz i am fat. I hate that. Guys suck ass. Whatever. Anyways me and Mike were talking last night about exs and all of a sudden he said his exs name and how she wanted to move to Florida to be with her mom and dad. And well the name of the girl he said was Julie which i have a cousin named julie and my aunt and uncle live in Florida. Well then I asked him what her parents names were. It ends up to make a long story short. He was engaged to my cousin Julie. Julie is a slut so I asked what happend and he said she cheated on him and I was like ooo that sounds like my counsin. What a small world. It is weird sometimes how people meet.

I wish that I had never met Jeremy just because then I wouldnt feel like he is the only guy I can attract. It sucks because he wants me back but no other guy wants me. I feel icky inside. I hate that feeling. Well I am taking this week easy and next week I will get my class together. The first day of school isnt until 24th, but we have meetings starting the 17th.

Current Mood: numbnumb
Current Music: britanny spears

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Aug. 4th, 2005 02:48 pm

Cupid - Free Online Dating and Match

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Jul. 22nd, 2005 11:49 pm

Canada here I come. So I am done packing and I am ready to go. The only thing I am scared about is no cell phone or internet. I know that I will live , but that is a lot of communication taken away from me. It is basically all of my communication taken away. I hope that nothing happens while i am gone. I mean no terrible storms or anything. Cuz we do not even have television. I am so not looking forward to this no technology thing. I am bringing my lap top just in case i can find internet somewhere. I am a little nervous. I can not sleep this sucks.

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Jul. 22nd, 2005 09:40 pm O Canada

So today I feel like I have been running around with my head cut off. I Have been grocery shopping and packing and everything. I leave tomorrow for Canada. I am a little scared because no cell phone service or internet. I may go into withdrawl. I hate packing for two weeks that is a long time to pack for. I am tired of doing it already and i havent started this sucks. Well i gotta pack later.

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